Nobody can believe - least of all us - how many years this has been going on. The name Straitgate Action Group was first coined by a local journalist back in 2001. Our social media efforts have been going on for some time too. This blog will soon be entering its 7th year. In that time, we’ve made 770 posts, seen readership numbers continue to grow, and collected some 4600 followers on Twitter.
And yet at Straitgate Farm things are still not settled.
Aggregate Industries' planning applications for Straitgate Farm have been mired in problems - not least the dairy cows; the ones that would need to cross the busy B3174 four times a day for replacement pasture as a direct result of the company's proposals. The issue of the cows has still not been resolved - the reason why we posted More delays to come; the reason why determination will now not be before 21 March 2018.
Could the cows get by without needing to cross the road? No. Take a look at this plan: nearly half the farm's pasture would be taken away by the ancillary areas, soil storage areas and the initial phase alone; Phase 1 soils would not even be restored until the final Phase 3 starts.
We hope we know a little more now than in 2012 when we first started posting. We hope that AI and DCC know a little more too.
In 2012, DCC authored a 133-page Southern Area Site Appraisal Report. It was an artificial desk-based affair to make AI’s Straitgate Farm look like the most appropriate site. It was a report that said "Birdcage Lane is very narrow and therefore inappropriate for access…". AI now proposes to use this lane for up to 200 HGVs a day.
But in all those 133 pages, there was no talk of cows. Who would have thought that these friendly animals that helpfully provide us with so much - brandy butter and double cream spring to mind - would now be causing so many problems? Not AI or DCC, that’s for sure.
And who would have thought that there's so much more to these friendly animals than meets the eye, that they could in fact have secret lives?
This book was first published some years ago, but is back in the bookshops again. Apparently, it "will change forever the way you see a field of ayrshires or friesians."
And on that basis, it would surely make a suitable gift for anyone overly interested in despoiling Straitgate Farm for non-agricultural purposes; as Alan Bennett says "it alters the way one looks at the world".
Failing that, and if these delays continue to drag on, this book might be needed instead:
But grown-ups shouldn't have all the fun, so, on the same subject, here's something for younger readers:
Why did the cows cross the road? To get to the udder side.Why did the cows cross the road? To go to the moo-vies.
And because cow puns are moo-sic to the ears (although for many that's a moot point) here's a few more:
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.How do you count cows? With a cowculator.How can you tell if a cow is exceptional? It's outstanding in its field.What do you get when you sit under a cow? A pat on the head.What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder.What do you get if you cross an angry cow with an irate sheep? An animal that's in a baaaad mooood.What did the mummy cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.What's a cow's favourite day of the year? Moo Years Day.
Ouch.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all readers!
